all worth while

nursing Abigail

Is it possible to get baby fever when your only child is four and a half months old? If so, then I must have it. The other night as I sat in the nursery in my creaky rocking chair, I broke down crying, feeling as though I didn't have enough milk for Abbie. Derrick had to gently remind me that I can't strictly breast-feed her forever and that pretty soon she'll be on solids (we have semi-started to feed cereal, as directed per the doctor, in hopes that it will help her keep more of her food down on account of the acid reflux) and even though I plan to continue breast-feeding (or pumping, once she has teeth because, I will admit, I'm not so sure I'll want to continue feeding her directly once she has teeth!) she will, obviously, need to start solids at some point. I asked him why can't she just stay little forever. And he told me that we can enjoy each stage of her growing up. That it's not like this is the only age that she is going to be fun and that it's not like I'm going to stop enjoying taking care of her. We will enjoy seeing her grow and learn and become a sweet little girl and then a rebellious teenager and a beautiful woman someday. So then I decided that we should definitely have another child in a couple of years. I don't want another one right now, but maybe once Abbie is two or three.... I'm not sure that Derrick was thinking along those lines as he comforted me, though.

Daddy and Abbie

I'm not sure Derrick is quote on board for having another child just yet, so it may take that long to convince him but I'm sure it won't take too much convincing if I just do it the right way. He's already quite attached to our beautiful little girl.

I love holding Abbie when she goes to sleep in my arms.

So for now, I will just enjoy it all and soak in every minute I have with my husband and our daughter. And I do enjoy it. So very much. I can't imagine not being right here, right now with these two amazing people in my life to love and take care of. I thought it was all overwhelming and emotional just having Derrick in my life, but to have both Derrick and Abbie is so incredible and I am so blessed! That's not to say that life is perfect, but I am learning to just make the most of it and try not to worry so much. Just enjoy life.

My amazing husband

and our beautiful daughter